Life on the Brink

Life after a divorce is definitely challenging, but for some, it can be such a liberating experience where you can reconnect and perhaps find yourself…right? I know… what a crock! It can be a liberating experience, depending on what you experienced during the marriage. Fast forward to the day or evening, you’re sitting in your apartment, and you suddenly realize ( while enjoying your liberation ) that you’re fifty and starting over! The thought that may race through your mind can be either overwhelming or a wake-up call that perhaps you really fucked up or this is fucked up!

While I could be apologetic for my profanity, I did learn to loosen up and laugh a little at the humor life can bring to a not so good situation. Now that I’ve managed to take a step back and allow reality to introduce me to some new facts, I can plainly see how my marriage was headed to the great abyss. We can be so in love ( or delusional ) that we fail to heed, respond or even give a second thought to the signs of impending doom ( or liberation ). Is divorce really liberating? That depends if you were indeed in love with the object of your affection or just trying to get to the altar…fast, before someone else!

I have no idea who started the morality movement by saying…” you shouldn’t date someone else until your over a past relationship.” If you were in love, are you ever over it? You seem to die a thousand deaths after divorce, and you must move on and live again. While patients may be a virtue, it seems to be a trait only existing on the page of a dictionary because who wants to hear your story about how you got here? Who wants to know your past when people are busy pretending to be happy and drama free.

Live, Love and Laugh were my mantras after divorce, but when you’re having one of those days when you realize it’s just you, you live a little less, love seems to be something you will one day lose it and the worse part being, you can’t find a thing to laugh about. While you’re celebrating and maturing in that new found liberation, you’re bombarded with suiters looking to label you or even collar you as theirs before you can decide how you want to spend your grand and glorious days being liberated. Yeah, released from what?

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