Stop Masturbating Online and Improve Your Marriage

As kids come into the picture, it can slow significantly. And if there are money problems or other serious issues, sex can come to a screeching halt. Sometimes, the causes are not clearly evident, and your partner may just stop showing interest in sex, leaving your puzzled and rejected.

In the short term, it makes some sense to turn to masturbation as an alternative, perhaps accessing pornography online. This might be a successful alternative in the short run, but over the long haul, it erodes your natural sexual communication with your partner, your self-esteem, and your relationship with your family. How? Its starts slowly. First you’re getting online once or twice a week. But as sex remains slow in your household, you may find yourself getting online four days a week or even daily, spending anywhere from one to three hours a day digging up new porn, saving it to CDs, stashing it and hiding it. At some point you may actually pay for porn site access, spending hard-earned money on something that is eroding your self-esteem and stealing time from your family (and risking getting printed porn material sent to your door in the mail). When a quick-fix evolves into a 5–20-hour-a-week addictive habit, then the negative impacts quickly take their toll.

Damage to your marriage can come in several forms. First, depending on the relationship you have, getting caught accessing online porn either in the act, or via History files, Recent files, or other data on your computer can put a permanent rift between you and your spouse. Many people find this to be a breach of trust, which can have far-reaching damage in the relationship.

Another way it can cause damage is in the very area you’re trying to fix — the sexual aspect of your marriage. You might think that your sex life just needs some type of spark, and it would naturally follow that some of the more — well, exotic — things you might see online might be good things to introduce into the bedroom. Unless the sexual relationship is active and healthy (which we’re assuming it’s not), then you’re likely to get…

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