Having a parent with mental illness..

My mother has suffered extreme depressive episodes as long as I can remember. I believe post natal depression after the birth of my sister brought it on for mum. Since then she has been hospitalised numerous times and the only cure for her is ECT or electroconvulsive therapy. This used to be quite a brutal practice however is now more refined but still the idea of my mother going through this is very hard to take. Once my Father took my sister and I to “visit” mum in one of these psychiatric institutions. Mum was like a zombie,unrecognisable as my former mother, who was quite a vain person, always dressing in lovely shoes and clothing and being quite the social butterfly. Yet here she was,a mere shell of a woman, with a grey pallor and zilch personality,as though the life force of her had been removed. Great outing for us Dad! Thanks heaps ! Over the years my mother has frequented all different kinds of institutions, from locked up public hellholes to the finest private psych hospitals around and it always comes back to the same thing for mum. ECT. Everytime.

My mother is now in her 80’s and my sister and I live with her and she’s about to go through the same shit again. At least now my sister and I know what to expect and we can support each other(and mum) to get through it. When we were younger it was impossible to deal with,so that’s why I became an alcoholic and addict. To cope. Thankfully now I have healthier coping methods and now can be helpful instead of horrible. Still having parent with mental illness really sucks,as you see the fallibility and hopelessness within them(and maybe within yourself too). All I can do now is do the next right thing,have my boundaries and look after myself so I can help look after others. And for mum I wish she could finally overcome herself and her problems without ECT, so we shall see. There is always hope.

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