A Vision for the Future

It’s been a while since I last put my thoughts into words, and in this time, not much has changed, except that I have had to experience the world without the time to distil my learnings. In some ways this has presented itself as an opportunity to live uninterrupted; to live without adjusting whilst on the mission itself — just running on all cylinders, relying only on what has previously been built into my repository of reactions. Somewhat like a test run of the philosophies I have stored in memory.

Before writing this, I had to confront the fear of being able to write again after such a long time, but as I type these words in acknowledgment of that fear, I feel it fading.

Now that that’s out of the way, lets jump right in.

The past seems like something static because it has passed, but anyone who has indeed thought about the past knows that the past is not static. The past changes to fit what you now know. The past pushes you into the future if you use it wisely. The past is a guide. The past is a repository of you — the yous that have made decisions and the outcomes of those decisions.

The past arms you with a story to tell today. The past — good or bad — is the evidence of your existence. The past, placed side by side with who you are today, is what maps out the future.

The past can be a trap for regrets, or a template to see that so much has happened before, and on that premise, so much more can happen. I like to think that for a long time, I was trapped in the past. I was stuck, holding on to old realities when in fact the world had moved on right in front of me.

The moment I let go of the past and started shifting my focus from what was, I suddenly came to the realization of what could be. The realization that the potential of what could be, far outweighs what has been. That in itself is a super power. I became lighter in my person, and largely more stable in my person.

From my learnings, I have been able to transform my perspective of the world to a largely positive outlook. Now I believe in possibilities. I believe that literally everything is transient. This whole thing is a game.

If something gets broken, it’s temporary — it won’t matter in six months. If I hit my sheen on the edge of a stool, it wont matter by Wednesday. I find that type of thinking really freeing. It lets me focus less on the mundane and look at the bigger picture. It’s a light way of being, where I’m not attached to moments.

Being unattached to moments can come from two basic motivations. It can come from the darkest depths of Nihilism where nothing matters, or the heights of a positive outlook where everything more or less smoothens out into a net positive. If you have been a follower of my writings, then you know I largely operated on Nihilism for the longest stretch of time since my debut on this writing platform.

Look, do I get cranky sometimes when the internet is sloppy? Absolutely. But somehow, it doesn’t transcend into everything, because I’m not looking for the slightest excuse to declare that the fabric of existence is rigged.

One time I was under immense pressure and some dark thoughts wanted to creep in, but then I took out time to think the whole thing through; “Why react absurdly when this whole phase will be done in two weeks? it literally will not matter one month from now.” And that outlook gave me the strength to continue without cursing the world — which is something I have been know to do; I’m not making this stuff up.

Planning is such a tricky thing. Every plan by design is not meant to go according to plan. But every plan sets the tone of what could possibly happen. So a plan gives the confidence of a ball park estimate if everything goes well.

Between you and me, I can’t really tell you where I will be in the next five years, the next three years, or even the next one year — and if you can muster the humility, neither can you. The world can be very abrupt. You can plan to set yourself in a particular place and then boom, ten positive things just line themselves up, and you’re like one year ahead of your plan. The alternative is that the fabric of reality shifts under you, and then you have to make a new plan.

As a rule for myself, whenever I make a plan to chart a course, the 95% confidence interval only covers the first 90 days. After that, I have to reassess the situation based on how much reality has drifted, and reoptimize or revamp as necessary. Now, obviously, the more stable your life becomes, the longer you can plan for, so it’s all a function of knowing where you are currently.

“Seek ye first the kingdom and all other things will be added unto you.” Not sure I got the exact wordings, but you get the point. One thing I have learnt is to distract myself from thinking about the grand reward, and to set my focus on the micro rewards that come along as I go.

I find happiness in the work, I find confidence as I work, and I build resilience and experience on the job. As I inch closer to a milestone of work, I feel myself build more and more trust in my ability to get things done. And that increased sense of worth increases my happiness. So instead of seeking happiness, happiness come to me.

And life is a nested system of rules, so I guess the overarching ‘happinesses’ of life will come to me as I approach the overarching works of life.

I also feel that I’m inching closer to a working philosophy with which to approach God ; a solid philosophy— I’ll probably have a working relationship with God again in less than a year.

The sun does not go away, it’s the earth that moves. The future does not dim or brighten, it’s my perspective that changes. By default, the future is bright. How do I know? Because the world has consistently moved incrementally forward and the future is net positive.

Over the last one year of applying my philosophies to guide my life, I have seen that the vast majority of it works pretty well, and it has helped me simplify my life to the extent that I know what to do and I have a good sense of the time horizon it will take to achieve the things I want to achieve. I have also seen that some of the things I planned to achieve have been achieved, so the model works.

I have simplified the game, and I largely understand what I’m doing. This is the most confident and optimistic I have been about myself and the future in probably the last three years, and I'm just super grateful that the possibility of a lined up life has presented itself, and has begun to flesh itself out. Yes, flesh itself out, because I'm not even trying so hard to engineer it, I’m simply trying so hard to fulfil my obligations daily, and that has proven to be a working strategy.

Philosophy and the search for meaning is a beautiful thing, but it is a beautiful tragedy. It is a double edged sword. It will teach you to be responsible for your actions. It will teach you to take account of the past, the present and the future, but it will rob you of life. Show me a happy philospher. Show me a happy philosopher and I will show you a fake deep individual. There is no happy philosopher.

When I realised this, I started to realise it’s probably important to take the lessons and skip on the pillars of philosophizing and trying to wrap a total understanding around everything. Like Jon Bellion said “I guess if I didn’t have faith, I guess He wouldn’t be God” — or so. Look, I don’t even understand all the python code I write, and this stuff was created by another human being, but you don’t see me cursing the foundations of programming because of that. I simply give thanks to the creators of Stack Overflow and move on, until I understand later — if I ever do.

I have decided to do same with life. I may not understand the meaning of life, but rest assured brother, I intend to live it. We’ll figure out what it’s about later, or just ask God later when Jesus comes, and that’s on God.

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