Wings Would be Helpful

How it Ends is an interesting movie about the end of the world and how one woman worked through very difficult issues with herself. The last scene triggered me.

The woman is accompanied by her ys (younger self). What triggered me was jealousy that she had a ys. I can’t find mine. She’s hiding in some deep, dark, lonely space. She’s. terrified and alone wanting, more than anything, to beloved for who she is without all the bullshit NT expectations. She wants more than anything to be her authentic self but has been put down, abused and used badly by all the people she is supposed to be able to trust that she just can’t bring herself to emerge.

She was (is) goofy and fun and loves to tell stories and research and learn. She loves to sing and feel the music in her soul. She loves the sunshine on her skin as a cool breeze caresses her. She loves watching the clouds moving in the sky as they dance around and form creatures that only she can see. She needs and seeks out solitude; quiet places with sounds of nature enveloping all of her senses and psyche.

Between her and me is a huge chasm. She can’t get off the deadly mesa because the chasm is too deep, too dangerous, surrounding her completely. She needs a safe bridge. One where she can’t see or feel the edges. She’s afraid of heights because she’s been pushed into the chasm so many times. It’s so very hard to climb back to safety. Every time she finds safety her world gets smaller and smaller. Her ledge is so extremely tiny now.

Wing’s would be helpful.

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