Married Men? No Thank You.

I was single until just a few months shy of my fortieth birthday. I dated a lot of guys, kissed my share of frogs, and not one of those mugs turned into a prince. (My hubby came close, though.) But I made a vow when I was a young girl. Still a teenager. I promised myself and all that is Holy that I would never, ever, fool around with a married man.

It was after Mama and I watched the movie THE APARTMENT with Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine, and Fred McMurray. Fran is young, beautiful and having an affair with the very married Mr. Sheldrake. He’s notorious, as most of the male executives in their office building, for screwing around with the women who work there.

While Fran is sad enough, there’s Miss Olsen, Sheldrake’s front office secretary, who reveals that four years ago they too had “a little ring-a-ding-ding”. And yet there she sits, day in and day out, watching the new models parade by. That is until finally, he fires her.

I don’t know what struck me the hardest. Mr. Sheldrake’s cold callousness or Miss Olsen’s pathetic stupidity. Find a job somewhere else, girl! Please! But she gets back at him by telling his wife. At least there’s that.

If you’ve never seen it, please do. It’s a classic and one of my favorites. But the ugly image of dating a married man never left me. Do unto others. Right? I wouldn’t want anyone fooling around with my husband so I vowed, as an impressionable young teenager, to never cause anyone else such pain and humiliation. No married men for me.

“My wife doesn’t understand me… “I can’t leave my kids… “Stick with me baby, we’ll work it out somehow.”

Women cheat (mostly) for emotional reasons. Men cheat (mostly) because it’s easy. With opportunities everywhere, casual affairs jump off because there are so many women willing and available to have affairs with.

In THE APARTMENT, the women know they’re screwing married men. There are no secrets. No one is being deceived.

That’s the biggest rub for me. Much of the blame, as I see it, lay at the feet of women who know their lovers…

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