Learning to Recognize and Change Judgmental Thought Patterns

Focusing on our Thoughts

You have decided you want to be less judgmental. Congratulations on taking this step towards self-improvement! Change takes focus, practice, and patience. Don’t be discouraged if it does not happen as fast as you would like. By identifying the problem and desiring to make a change, you are already on the right path.

Becoming less judgmental is a huge goal that will take time. Be kind to yourself, be patient.

A woman that I coach recently asked me the following questions: “How do I become less judgmental about people, ideas, everything?” “How do I learn to accept things as they are, for what they are rather than thinking my way is always right?”

Good questions. The client who asked me this is someone on the surface who has it all together. A good family, success at work, wealth, great friends, a healthy and active social life.

Now in her mid-fifties, she can still identify areas of improvement she can make to become her best self. Someone that is kind, accepting, loving and open. Having already accomplished her exterior goals, she is ready to focus on her interior success. Her thinking about herself, about others, and about the world.

Often when someone wants to change something about themselves, their first thought is; I have to stop doing this and start doing that. I have an alternative suggestion that is essentially kinder to oneself.

Keep in your mind the change you want to make and start using the unwanted behavior as a trigger to induce the desired thought or behavior. Try to recognize when this judgmental thinking occurs and reject it. See if you can spot certain circumstances or instances where it happens more frequently.

This will give you some insight into more deeply held judgmental thought patterns. When you say “I want to be less judgmental” you are essentially saying “I want to be more accepting.” So, use the mental trigger of judgmental thinking and replace it with acceptance.

Saying to yourself “there I go again” when being judgmental is a good trigger and a…

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