Pharmaceutical Companies Discover Pretending To Work On Vaccine More Lucrative Than Working On Vaccine

With people under lock down and many people with pre-existing conditions dying, pharmaceutical companies have been struggling to maintain their profits. Luckily, seven companies were selected to be part of Operation Warp Speed, a $10 billion fund set up by the White House to support the delivery of 300 million coronavirus vaccines.

The White House selected Dr. Moncef Slaoui as the fund’s chief advisor. As a former GlaxoSmithKlein executive and with large personal investments in the pharmaceutical industry, Dr. Saloui understands how his investments were struggling before the fund announcement and was happy he was able to select his favourite drug companies to receive the money.

Executives at all seven companies were excited that the fund required only the appearance of working on a vaccine and that they did not actually need to produce any results. One executive who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity said, “This money is exactly what we needed to meet our goals of maximizing shareholder value. Stock prices are up, and we’ve already allocated some of the money for our C-Suite annual bonuses.”

The fund has enabled multiple recipients to be months away from a placebo that will make people feel like they are protected from getting covid-19 pointing to the research that mindset is often the difference between a drug and a sugar pill.

As stock surged, company insiders have been selling stocks to the general public who think that they will make a good return on their investment.

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