The Case For Viewing Your Life As A Series Of Endings

Impermanence as the door to well-being

We spend most of our lives having a singular relation to things ending. We mourn losses, we grow depressed at them, angry, or sometimes just indifferent. Whatever the specific emotion, it is almost always negative.

But the truth is, the series of endings that makes up our lives presents the perfect opportunity for reflection and gratitude. And through both of these, meaning.

Long before any of us die, there are activities, and people, and places that cease to be a part of our lives. It is the natural progress of things. Some things slowly fade out of our lives, whilst others vanish quickly; we relinquish much as we pass from year to year.

I find it interesting how little I reflect on these things that are no longer. I spend much more time focusing on current or future acquisitions.

The ancient Greeks conceptualized time in a reversed metaphor to how we do. For them, your past was in front of you because it is what you can see, and your future is behind you, because it remains hidden.

In this metaphor, I rarely spend anytime looking ahead of me. I think this is also apt because your past really informs your future: you look to it for guidance, for learning, for refuge; in many ways your current and future selfs are mere modifications in the patterns of your past self.

I can’t help but feel technology contributes to this lack of reflection: filling all my spare time with screen time hardly leaves space for slowly sifting through memory. Boredom and idle time not consuming are seldom anymore. This seems especially true at nighttime. A day spent working or otherwise busy gives way to a night where it is normalized to browse social media or watch videos. This creates entire days where one avoids being alone with their own thoughts.

Taking some time to reflect now, it is apparent that there are already many things in my life that have ended or might have ended.

Will I ever visit my childhood vacation spot again? Likely not.

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