Thinking About Hiring an Au pair?

Six tips to making an au pair arrangement work for you and your au pair

An au pair can be the perfect arrangement for some families, but it can also go very wrong. In over ten years working with au pairs, there’s a truth that even the best au pair agencies don’t tell — most au pairs are not qualified, nor are their priorities aligned with those of the family.

Knowing what to ask can help you avoid a home horror story.

In my experience, the majority of au pairs want to learn English in a fully immersive program — we used to get a lot of complaints that they weren’t learning English because they were with a toddler all day. They want to immerse themselves in a new culture, and that involves meeting new people.

The dissonance starts there.

Host families are looking for affordable childcare. When they turn to an au pair agency, they expect to find an au pair with a passion for children, an understanding of family life and the maturity of a grown-up.

If expectations on both sides are poorly managed, it can quickly lead to the horror stories we’ve all heard about.

As the host family, it’s up to you to make sure all of your requirements (and theirs) are understood. This starts with your interview. Be honest; it could mean multiple interviews, but it will be worth it. The following are six secrets to making an au pair arrangement work for you and your au pair.

By all means, go through the standard questions your au pair agency may have suggested; these will help guide the conversation. But keep in mind that hypothetical questions (of the ‘how would you’ type) will help you understand the au pair’s motivations and personality a lot better. For example, if your potential au pair ticked the culinary skills box, try asking her what her favorite meal is and how she would prepare it. Very quickly, you’ll learn how accurate her application responses are. It’s not that your au pair is ‘lying’, it’s just that she might believe making toast falls under the ‘cooking’ category. Another…

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